Dave in Wonderland
by CaliahAndTauran
Summary: Dave's world gets flipped upside down as he enters the dangerous world of Wonderland. He's wanted dead for a crime he didn't commit, flowers are deadly enough to kill, and his aggressively cute companion is hiding something... He'll question his sanity later, but right now he just needs to focus on surviving.
1. Through the Refrigerator

**Chapter one: Through the Refrigerator **

**Be the cool kid**

Oh hey, you are now the cool kid. You adjust your pointy anime shades and-

**No not that cool kid, he's too cool. The **_**other**_** one.**

He's asleep jackass, try someone else.

**Wake him up**

The other cool kid is roused from his sleep, a glare aimed at whatever woke him up.

Your name is Dave Strider, and god dammit you told Dirk not to wake you up till 2 o'clock. He's such an asshole… You sit up, reaching your arms upwards in a stretch while yawning. Since you now have two hours to get ready for work instead of one, you guess you should find something to do.

**Go get some apple juice.**

You get the sudden urge to drink apple juice, however this doesn't strike you as weird. You're always drinking that shit. After you've heaved yourself out of bed, you snatch a crumpled shirt off the floor, and put it on. You fell asleep in your boxers, and you find no need to put pants on. Your white with red heart patterned boxers are too ironic to _not_ show off. Pushing open your door, you quickly look down either end of the short hallway. You don't want to be caught up in a strife with your bro before you've had your AJ. Affirming the coast is clear, you sneak down the hall, light on your feet, and peer around the corner that leads to the kitchen. Empty. Excellent.

You leisurely make your way to the fridge, and furrow your eyebrows. It was open. With a disgusted groan at your careless brother, you open it further. And shriek. A lady with mocha skin, and a fashionable black bob was kneeling there at the bottom. Two white strips stuck out of her head, twitching. Ears?!

All the shelves had disappeared, and behind her there is only darkness. She blinks her dark brown eyes, as you stare down at her, and stands. A red skirt pools around her ankles, and she brushes it off as if it had gotten dirty. After tugging down on her black shirt, with some jade coloured symbol on it, she gazes at you calculatingly.

"We are late."

"We're… What?!"

"Late Mr. Strider, must I repeat myself?"

They lady turns on her heels and disappeared into the darkness of your fridge.

**Follow the strange woman. **

"Wait up," you hollar after her. Who's idea was it for you to not put on pants this morning?

Living with your brother you've seen some strange shit. But this? This takes first place. You jog to catch up with the tall lady, eyes traveling around the circular tunnel. It was made of compacted dirt and every few feet there were a few random playing cards sticking out. They seemed to glow, dimly lighting up the dark space. You stop for a moment to try to pull one out, but Mrs. bunny ears cleared her throat impatiently.

"Right. Sorry. So what are we late for?"

"For the hearing. You're going to court."

She said it slowly, like she was talking to a toddler. You bristled and clenched your fists.

"Listen Bunny, I sure as hell ain't going to court. First of all, I haven't done anything wrong. Second of all, I have work in an hour and a half so I need to go get ready."

"My name is Kanaya, not _Bunny_."

Kanaya wrinkled her nose at the nickname.

"And you _will_ be going to this hearing. You, Dave Strider, have been sentenced to a beheading by the sixty-ninth ruler of Wonderland, his majesty the King of Hearts."

"Beheading?! What the fuck did I do to deserve that?!"

With a smug smile, the brown eyed woman continued walking.

"For eating His Majesty's grub-sauce tarts."

Blanching, you back up a few feet. Not only did she assume you ate some shitty sounding pastry, but you were going to be executed for it.

"Oh fuck no I'm out of here."

Before you can bolt back down the long card strewn tunnel, Kanaya has her dainty hand wrapped around your wrist with a vice like grip. With her other hand she pulls a tube of lipstick from her skirt pocket. She uncapped it, and it grew before your eyes into a shining, four foot chainsaw.

"You are not going anywhere Mr. Strider."

You gulped loudly.

"Alright, alright, jesus fuck!"

She smiled triumphantly, and placed the cap back on the tip of the chainsaw, which once again, shrank into a tube of lipstick.

"I am glad you could see things my way."

You have to get out of here. You are not going to let some psycho chainsaw wielding bunny chick take you to Wonderland (where ever the fuck that is) to behead you. Once Kanaya started walking again, pushing you in front of her so you won't try to make a break for home again, you formulate a plan. Not a very good one, but it's better than nothing. You began to sprint, running faster than you ever had, leaving bunny lady in your dust. You can hear her yelling at you, and the grating noise of her weapon, but in a few minutes it all fades into silence.

**Take a break.**

As soon as you're sure Kanaya is a safe distance behind you, you lean limply against the tunnel wall, sliding down. Something is poking into your back, and you reach your arm behind you to feel up the dirt until you find the source. It's one of the cards. You turn around and yank it out of the wall, settling back into position once you've done so. King of Hearts. Huh, the one who supposedly wants you dead.

With a sigh, you get to your feet and start running again. There has to be an exit somewhere!

What must have been an hour later, natural light began to filter into the dirt passageway. The walls started narrowing and eventually you had to crawl on your hands and knees to fit. And then there it was. A few feet in front of you was a hole, letting in the light. You sped up your crawling, and dragged yourself out of the tunnel. Fresh air replaced the stale air that had been filling your lungs for the past hour or two. Flopping onto your back, you lifted your eyes to the sky. It was was clear, an intense blue making your eyes water. It seemed to be late afternoon here, kind of odd, because it had been morning when you entered the tunnel. You hadn't been in there_ that _long, had you?

Jerking up, you looked around in confusion. You were in a field of grass, with the opening to the tunnel (that suspiciously looked like a rabbit hole) to your right. To your left there were a few dozen flowers, that were at least one story tall. In front of you sprawled a forest, each tree a different color. The effect was pretty trippy.

"Toto, I don't think we're in Texas anymore," you mumble.

"Who's Toto?"

Scrambling to your feet, you whip around to find a cloaked figure sitting on a short stocky mushroom, a hood drawn tight around his face. You assumed it was a he, his voice was gruff, although not as deep as yours. He jumped off the red and white mushroom, his gray cloak fluttering, and then settling back around him.

"It's- nothing. Forget I said anything."

"Listen here fuckass, I asked you a question. It's only polite to answer!"

You groaned. Great, you finally made it to safety, and some asshole makes it his business to irritate you and sneer at your boxers.

"It's a figure of speech. From the movie Wizard of Oz? You know?"

The cloaked figure didn't say anything for a minute, an air of puzzlement surrounding him.

"Wait, you haven't even _heard_ of that movie?!"

"Of course I have! It just slipped my mind you think-panless dolt!"

You raise your eyebrow at the strange insult, definitely some local thing.

"Well it's been… interesting. But I have to beat it. Some crazy chick is after my ass and I have to find a way back home."

"To the 'Texas' you mentioned?"

"Yup. Home sweet home."

He walked up to you, and once he was closer you discovered that he was shorter than you by about half a head. He slipped off his hood revealing snow white hair and red eyes that rivaled yours in brightness. You would have guessed that he was albino, but he didn't have the almost sickly look you contributed to them. It was a cute combination.

"What?"

You realize you'd been staring and avert your gaze. Out of all the days you'd left the house without your shades, why did this have to be one of them!

"I just haven't really met anyone with eyes like mine."

Suddenly his hands were on either side of your face, pulling you down so you were eye to eye with him.

"Hey! What-"

"I thought you just had burgundy eyes and the sun was making them look brighter, but you _do_ have eyes like mine."

He looked mystified, and you chuckled nervously, your face still rather close to his.

"No shit Sherlock, that's what I just said."

The boy tilted his head, and withdrew his hands.

"Sherlock?"

"Agh, another figure of speech. How can you not have heard of Sherlock?"

"Maybe it's just a Texas thing," he huffed.

"Right. Just a Texas thing. Hey, I never caught your name."

"It's… Karkat."

Wait? What are you doing! You have to get away from the rabbit hole, Kanaya could appear at any minute!

"Dude, I really have to go. I think being beheaded would be a really shitty way to end today."

"You've been sentenced?"

Karkat was suddenly looking at you through narrowed eyes. Oh shit, not another psycho all for killing you.

"Yeah. I've been framed for eating some shitty pastry I've never even heard of."

"A grub-sauce tart?"

"How'd you know?"

His eyebrows are furrowed now, and you consider bolting again. Good looking or not, you need to ditch Karkat. He could alert Kanaya to your whereabouts.

"You're Dave," he says slowly. "You're a wanted man."

Shit, shit shit this isn't going to turn out well.

"And you say you've been framed?"

Oh? Maybe he'll listen, unlike Mrs. Bunny Ears.

"I think so, unless there's another Dave Strider running around. I've never even been here before."

You rub the back of your head, a smile sliding across your features.

"I wouldn't mind there being another Dave though. You can never have enough sexy."

"Self centered prick."

"So I've heard," you say coyly.

Karkat looked deep in thought, and you began walking towards the towering flowers and mushrooms.

"Where the fuck do you think you're going insufferable douche bag!?"

"Away from that hole. Kanaya'll catch up with me at sometime."

The shorter boy quickly chased after you, until he was striding beside you.

"Kanaya? She's the royal families bounty hunter and event organizer."

"What a fun combo," you grumble as you approach the enormous plants.

Karkat leapt in front of you, effectively halting you in your tracks.

"If you're trying to escape, only an ignorant idiot with sopor slime for brains would go that way."

Karkat grabbed your wrist like Kanaya did earlier, but this time was different. He put enough pressure for you to know you could tear out of his grip at anytime you wanted, and not the bone crushing force Kanaya had used.

"The Mome Raths hate intruders, and aren't too picky about what they eat."

"What are Mome Raths?"

Karkat gestured up at a flower looming above them. It was a bit smaller than the ones surrounding it and had white petals like a daisy. The red eyed boy swiftly ran up to it, and kicked the base of the stalk before retreating back next to you. The stem bent, showing the center of the white flower. Instead of the yellow middle you had expected, there was a gaping maw. Teeth, sharp and as long as swords, stuck out at all angles, and a long undulating tongue slipped through the fangs, looking as if it was tasting the air.

"Holy-"

"Shut up!" Karkat hissed. "It'll hear you!"

"You're the one who kicked it! It's probably already noticed us!"

You continued bickering with the white haired boy, oblivious to the slippery tongue snaking closer to the two of you.

"Why the hell did you have to attack it anyway? It wasn't hurting anyone!"

"It was an example so you could see what would happen to any fuckass who had the guts to-"

Karkat abruptly cut off with a yelp. The Mome Rath had snuck its tongue around his ankle without his notice. With a swift jerk, Karkat was pulled off the ground and upside down. He spat out curses and fumbled with his cloak, eventually unclasping it. It floated to the ground, revealing Karkats previously hidden form. He was lean and- Holy shit right now is _not_ a good time to ogle the struggling boy.

"Help me! You bulge sucking asshole, why the hell did you bother talking to me!? Now I'm going to die and it's your fault!"

"You're the one who went blathering to me first, sunshine!"

Karkat's face was turning red, as all the blood went rushing to his head. His hands shot towards his sides, and he pulled two curved items out of leather sheaths. They glinted green and pink in the fading sun, as he threw them at you. You sidestepped just in time, as they sliced into the ground where you had been standing fractions of a second ago. Gingerly prying them out of the ground you realize what the were. A pair of sickles.

"YOU NEARLY JUST-"

"SHUT UP AND SAVE ME!"

The Mome Rath was dangling Karkat over its mouth tauntingly, it's center contorted into a hideous smirk. As if the plant had damn emotions. Well if it did, you hope this hurt.

**Save the loud mouth.**

You charged the smug son of a bitch, a sickle in either hand. A few of its leaves had elongated into tentacle like vines, and it swatted at you. You dodged with prowess, years of strife serving your purpose. With a swipe of your arm you managed to cut off one of the tendrils, earning a watery sounding howl from the monstrous flower. Another one whipped past your head, and you ducked, decapitation avoided by mere inches. A vine shot out at you, aiming for your chest. You side stepped it, dropping one of the sickles, and at the last second grabbed onto it. It writhed in your hand, and with an angry shout you brought down your other arm. With a loud _swish _it flopped to the ground still twitching. The Mome Rath yowled and dropped Karkat, and his red eyes widened in horror as he fell.

You dived for the descending boy, evading green tendrils which were desperately trying to strike you. Karkat hit you, and the two of you went down. You landed on your back, Karkat landing on top of you with heaving breaths. Damn, that was going to leave a bruise. The white haired boy looked down at at you, and wheezed out a thank you. Looks like he'd gotten the breath knocked out of him.

The vines were regrouping, and one in particular was sneaking closer to behind Karkats back. With a cry of alarm, you flipped your positions, and the tendril plowed into your back. That one was definitely bruising. No doubt about it.

"Dave! What the fuck you idiot, I'm not a god damn princess, I could have handled that!"

You rose to your feet unsteadily, and felt something sticky on your back. With a growl you realized that the hit had cut you. You were bleeding. Scrambling for the discarded sickles, you stormed towards the carnivorous flower, hacking off vines whenever they tried to attack you. You were only a few feet away from the stem, when the whole Mome Rath bent over, its petals brushing the ground. It roared, bits of sticky yellow opaque liquid spraying everywhere. A drop splashed against your cheek, and you hissed in pain. That shit's acidic.

The flower gnashed its stark white teeth at you, and its tongue snapped forward. With something that you hoped sound like a war cry and not some constipated shriek, you swung the sickles so that they crossed over the slimy appendage.

The metal curves of the blades sliced through the tongue like a hot knife through butter, and thick yellow goop gushed out. The Mome Rath shrieked, jerkily rising back to its full height and swaying in agony. While it was distracted by its pain you jolted forward the last few feet to its stalk. You ignored the stabbing pain located on your back, and Karkat's frenzied shouts. All you focused on was the adrenaline coursing through your veins, and the target in front of you.

With an enraged shout, you start hacking through the stem. With each slice large green chunks flew off the base, and the Mome Rath's shrieks grew louder. You finally started to tire. There was about a solid half foot that remained before you cut through completely, so you gave one final swing and kicked the overgrown flower stalk. There was a thunderous snap, and the Mome Rath gave a final bellow before plummeting to the earth. It shuddered, and then stilled, its maw lolling open.

"Timber, motherfucker!" You yell triumphantly.

**Remember that you're injured and fall over. **

Waves of pain crash over you, and the world swayed as you realized how much blood you must have lost. You collapsed onto your knees, and Karkat was there in an instant.

"What the actual fuck were you thinking?! Normally it takes a whole squad of soldiers to take a Mome Rath out! You literal piece of trash… Can you stand? We should start heading towards the Tulgey Woods. It'll be… safer in there."

"You don't sound awfully sure of that," you said with a grunt as the smaller boy hefted you to your feet.

Although he was short and lean he was sturdily built, and you could put the majority of your weight on him without knocking him over.

"Well there is the Bandersnatch… But we shouldn't have to worry about him."

"The what."

Karkat started towards the colourful woods, dragging you along. He looked a little nervous, which made _you_ nervous. If the Bandersnatch was _anything_ like the Mome Raths, than you think you'd rather take your chances with the rabbit hole and Kanaya.

The majority of the tedious trek was blanketed with silence, both you and the white haired boy weary from the fight. The sun had sunk behind the grove of mushrooms and Mome Raths, and it was starting to get dark. Karkat appeared to notice as well, and mumbled quietly.

"We're going to have to set up camp in the woods."

"Is that bad?"

"Not necessarily. Once we set up base though we should get your back bandaged."

"It's fine!" You protest.

You've had plenty of worse injuries. Living with Bro was an hazard in itself. Swords were all over the damn apartment, and getting cuts and slices if one wasn't careful wasn't uncommon. Speaking of which, you wonder if Dirk had noticed your disappearance. If he did you hoped he had the decency to call your manager at the cafe to let him know you weren't coming in.

Before you knew it, you and karkat were standing in front of the Tulgey Woods. Its vividness had faded with the sun, and the myriad of colours looked more daunting than cheerful.

**Enter the woods.**

_**(A/N:**_

_**Caliah: Hey y'all, what'd you think of the first chapter? Reviews and respectful criticism are welcome. Anything recognizable, mainly the characters from Homestuck and references to Lewis Carroll's Alice in Wonderland, do not belong to me. Some of the references so far are from the Jabberwocky poem (which I'm in love with XD.) **_


	2. Of Faygo and Dresses

**Chapter two: Of Faygo and Dresses**

The evening had brought a chill with it, and what was left of your t-shirt and boxers were not made for warmth. Karkat had told you he had a friend a days walk into the Tulgey Woods, and you looked forward to changing into real clothes and shelter. A shiver racked your body as goose bumps made themselves known. Karkat threw his cloak over your shoulders, and you rolled your eyes at the boy, but made no move to return it. About an hour into the forest, Karkat stopped.

"I think we can set up here. I'm not sure if I fucking trust you with finding food, so go collect some firewood."

"What's that suppose to mean?!"

"You'd probably poison us you pile of Jabberwocky shit!"

"It's not like you'd do any better!"

Apparently he could.

Forty minutes later you were sitting next to a roaring fire, with three small birds on a spit. The smell was making your mouth water, and you couldn't wait to sink your teeth into the crispy looking meat. Karkat was to your right, turning the spit every few minutes, a smug smile etched into his face.

"While those finish… turn around."

You raised an eyebrow, but do as he said. You hear him unsheath one of his sickles with a metallic whisper, and panic for a minute. He'd just been biding his time, he was after you head just like Kanaya was!

"I'm sorry-"

There it was. He was going to kill you. At least he was apologizing for it.

"-but I'm going to have to cut through your shirt."

Oh. Well then.

"That's fine. I don't care."

The red eyed boy gently dragged his sickle through the blood stiffened cotton. Once it had been cut completely through he pushed it forward and off your shoulders. Karkat hissed, and you fleetingly wondered if blood bugged him.

"I don't think any venom got in this… but it still looks pretty nasty. It stopped bleeding though, so that good."

"That yellow stuff is venomous?"

"Only if it enters your bloodstream. Why?"

"I got some on my cheek earlier."

Karkat chuckled.

"You'll live."

**Do the time skip thingy.**

The fire had died down, and you laid on your side watching the flickering embers. Your stomach was full, and although your back throbbed you felt pretty good for someone who had just vanquished a giant man-eating daisy. Karkat had just fallen asleep and you gazed at him thoughtfully across the fire. He obviously knew something about you, but whatever it was, he was hiding it. Logs snapped and popped in the fire, keeping you awake. The area Karkat had chosen to build the camp was a clearing, letting in faint beams of moonlight. Millions of stars winked at you from above, and the view almost took your breath away. Back in Texas city lights and pollution blocked the sky. Here it was beautiful and unblemished.

The sleeping boy across from you snuffled in his sleep, and you allowed yourself a quick smile. He was something else. An adorable ball of rage. Damn, he'd kill you if you ever said that out loud.

"If you met twelve people

and twelve people met you

how many ships would that put you through?"

You sprang to your feet, wincing as your back twinged in discomfort at the sudden movement.

"Who's there?!"

"Up here, and quite near!"

An upside down face suddenly appeared in front of you, making you stumble back a few steps. There was a floating girl's head right there. Curiouser and fucking curiouser. A neck began to materialize out of nothing, and before long a whole body. Once everything was visible, the girl, who was still upside down, flipped backwards. She landed in a crouch, a wide mischievous grin stretched across her face. The girl stood gracefully, short, blonde, messy hair framing her face. Her figure was covered in an oversized green trench coat, and you noticed something blue sticking out of the back.

The previously invisible girl frowned to herself and promptly set upon the task of fixing her disheveled hair that was sticking out at all angles. Although it could just be the darkness playing tricks on your eyes, you could have sworn you saw something moving in it.

Once she had deemed her hair acceptable you realized why it had been moving. Two furry blue triangle poked up out of her blonde locks. Of course, more animal ears. Silly you for thinking otherwise.

**Introduce yourself to cat girl.**

How about no. She's kind of creepy. Especially with the rhymes. It's a wonder Karkat hasn't been woken up yet.

**You're being rude. Introduce yourself, or I'll make her the main character.**

Well, when you put it like that...

"Uh, hey. I'm Dave."

"I know. I stopped by to say hello," she said gleefully.

You put your finger up to your lips and gesture towards Karkat. Cat girl giggled, but clamped her hands over her mouth.

"I'm sorry, but you don't have to worry! He's out like a light."

Her know it all attitude was starting to grate against your nerves.

"I just don't want to wake him up, okay? We had a rough day."

"I know. Well I need to leave soon, but before I go," she jumped upwards, but instead of gravity bringing her back down she stayed afloat.

"My name's Nepeta, and I have a question."

"Shoot."

"What do you know of the King of Hearts?"

Your eyebrows pop up in surprise. Maybe she could supply you with some info, because you knew jack shit about Wonderland's ruler.

"Just that he wants me dead."

"Does he? Could have fooled me."

"Do you know him?"

"You could say that."

Rubbing your eyes, you groaned in frustration. It was too late at night for this.

"Uh oh, Equius is calling me. I have to go! Just think about what I said."

"You didn't say anythi- wait you're not rhyming anymore?"

"I was just trying to be mysterious," she said with a wink.

He body was started to become hazy as it faded.

"Wait! I still don't know what you're trying to tell me about the king!"

Nothing was left of Nepeta, except her head once more. The last thing to dissipate was her mouth, which whispered, "The King is closer than you think."

Suddenly it was just you and a sleeping Karkat, not a trace of cat girl to be seen.

**Your eyes are becoming heavy.**

A yawn escaped your mouth, and your restlessness from earlier was gone. You settled back on the cold ground, wishing for a blanket. Within minutes you were snoring softly.

**Wake up. **

You'd never been a morning person, so when Karkat woke you up at the crack of dawn you were an absolute zombie. The shorter boy was scattering the campfire, making sure everything was put out as you ran in place. It was fucking freezing, and it was a wonder you hadn't woken up earlier. Boxers and a cloak did _not_ cut it.

"We have a few hours left till we get to Gamzee's place."

"Gamzee's the friend you were talking about?"

Karkat wrinkled his nose.

"Unfortunately."

Although the walk was long, the forest was fairly level grounded, which you were grateful for. Going up hill would have been a pain in the ass.

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we there now?"

"Still a fucking negative."

"How bout no-"

"Fuck off!"!

You chuckled at the ruffled looking boy. The two of you were walking leisurely side by side, talking and bickering like old friends. The multi-coloured trees began to thin out and surround a clearing. Cozily tucked into the opening was a cabin. It's walls were made of sun bleached wood, streaked with every colour imaginable, as if someone had thrown water balloons full of paint at it.

"Now we're here."

"I couldn't have guessed."

"Shut it, and come on. He should be out back."

You followed Karkat to behind the wooden building, and as you grew closer you could hear voices.

"Pass the Faygo Tavbro."

"You already have some in your cup, idiot!"

"I… uh, don't mind Vriska. And he likes to mix the flavours sometimes anyway."

"That's disgusting!"

"Don't be like that sis, dissing my liquid miracles!"

The two of you rounded the corner to find a long table set up in an unkempt yard. The table had a badly stained table cloth on it, and flora growing up the legs. The tablecloth was askew, and had what must have been a hundred soda bottles on it. Each one was colourfully labeled as "Faygo".

"God damn it Gamzee, last time I was here I told you to clean up!"

A lanky guy with a towering top hat on his head shrugged. His face was covered in white paint, a smile drawn around his mouth. Gamzee stood, making his hat sway threateningly, and shot a dopey grin at Karkat.

"Sorry Karbro, I guess I all up and forgot!"

There was a smaller boy seated next to Gamzee who shyly waved. He had a brown drooping mohawk, and surprise, surprise. Mouse ears. That was Tavbro you guessed? On the other side of Tavbro was another bunny eared chick. Her ears were a silky black however, unlike Kanaya's pure white ones. The ears were attached to long ebony hair, thick and strewn with random little curls. She wore a sardonic smile, looking critically at Gamzee.

"What are you doing here Karkles?"

Vriska had turned her attention from Gamzee to Karkat, and he shuffled under her gaze looking uncomfortable.

"He needs help."

He jerked his head towards you, and suddenly you were in the spotlight with four sets of eyes looking at you.

"Hi! Um, I haven't seen you around before. What's your name?"

"It's Da-"

Karkat slapped his hand over your mouth, and rapidly said, "Turntech. His name is Turntech, Tavros."

Ah. Not Tavbro, _Tavros_. You licked Karkat's hand, and he made a face, removing it. You sent him a look that meant 'I won't say anything, but you are so explaining later'.

"Turntech? What a weird name. Almost as weird as your fashion sense."

"Look here princess," you snap at the girl before Gamzee interrupts you.

"So Turnbro, what do you need help with?"

You wave down at your outfit of heart boxers and grey cloak.

"I need new clothes."

"And?" growled Karkat.

"And someone to take a look at my back I guess."

"What happened to it?" Tavros intoned curiously.

After looking at Karkat, who nodded, you replied.

"Cut down a fucking Mome Rath. I will never look at flowers the same again."

The trio looked at you in amazement.

"Bitchtits brother! That's some motherfucking miracles right there."

Gamzee moved over to you and Karkat languidly. He stopped next to Karkat and rested his elbow on the boys shoulder.

"Where'd you pick this guy up?"

"Outside the Mome Rath patch. He's a crazy fucker, but a good fighter."

"Okay stop talking about me like I'm not here. Do I get some new rags, or what?"

Gamzee sighed, closing his eyes and jerking his shoulders up in a shrug.

"These are the only ones I got," he said gesturing down at his button down purple shirt and black polka dotted slacks.

Tavros's ears lowered as he looked at you apologetically.

"All my extra clothes are at my place."

"So no one has_ any_ fucking clothes?"

You groan. What a waste of time.

"Weeeeeeeell," Vriska drawled. "I might have a little something you can use."

The rabbit eared girl stood from her spot at the messy table, and leaned down to pull something out from under the table. It was a rather large, blue carpet bag. She unzipped it, and rifled through it for a few seconds, murmuring to herself.

"Here it is!"

With a flourish she pulled out a blue length of clothing. Oh. Oh _hell_ no.

"I guess that'll do," Karkat said begrudgingly.

"Karkat. I'm not wearing a god damn dress."

Vriska held the dress up to herself, pale blue material fluttering at the movement. It had short puffed sleeved, trimmed with delicate lace. It was about knee length on Vriska, which meant it was definitely going to be shorter on you. The skirt was cinched around the waist, so it had a little volume.

"Oh I almost forgot!"

Vriska threw the dress at you, and you caught it before it fell to the ground. She went back to digging in her bag and pulled out another piece of fabric, white this time. She shook it out, revealing it to be a lacy apron.

"Now you're just making fun of me," you said with a grimace.

Tavros was blushing, as if he were embarrassed for you, and Karkat was smirking. That smug prick was enjoying this!

Gamzee began laughing, a loud obnoxious noise that sounded like honking.

"Looks like you don't have much of an option bro."

Karkat paraded over to Vriska, snatching the apron, and walked back over to place it on the dress in your arms. You decide that you're going to make Karkat pay for this later.

"I'll rock this dress better than any of you could. Can I borrow your bathroom Gam? I don't remember the last time I took a piss."

"Go ahead motherfucker, follow the hallway to the right of the door and it should be the room at the very end."

You nod in thanks at the tall hat clad boy and move towards the house. Karkat follows, hot on your heel. You halt suddenly, right before opening the door to the cabin, and Karkat slams into your back with a yelp. _Ow_. You turn, and raise an eyebrow.

"Why are you following me?"

The white haired boy snickered and replied," I want to be the first one to see you in the dress. You're going to look ridiculous."

"Nah, I'll look hotter than fire."

You swiveled around and opened the door. The room was dark, and you followed Gamzee's directions to the bathroom. Thankfully Karkat stayed behind. You did not need an audience in there.

As soon as the bathroom's door was shut and your business was done, you unclasped the cape, and it pooled around your bare feet. You hadn't been wearing shoes your whole time in Wonderland, and it probably showed. They were cut from your walk through the Tulgey Woods, though most of them had scabbed over already. You looked at the dress, which you had placed on the grimy counter, with distaste. Let's get this over with.

You tugged the piece of offending clothing over your head, straightening the skirt once it was on. It fit almost perfectly except for the length, and you weren't even going to question how a dress belonging to a petite chick, fit like a glove. Clumsily, you tied the apron around your waist.

With an irritated start you realized that the back had to be zipped up, and you couldn't reach the awkwardly placed zipper. You trudged back to the front room of gamzee's home, finding Karkat lazily sprawled across a ripped leather couch. He jolted up when you entered the room, and you shot him a sheepish grin.

"At the risk of sounding cliche, will you zip me up?"

Karkat's eyes trailed up and down your body, lingering on the apron.

"No."

"Come on, there's a draft back here man!"

"Tavros told me where Gamzee keeps his medical supplies. First we're patching up your back."

Karkat slid off the couch, and trotted over to a cabinet near the door. He pulled out a red metal box, and returned to the couch, gesturing for you to sit next to him. After doing so, he flipped open the red box and pulled out a bottle of liquid. The red eyed boy then proceeded to push the blue fabric off your shoulders.

"Wow, eager to undress me?"

"Shut up asshat, this is going to sting a little."

That was an understatement. You hissed in pain as he dabbed your back with the anti-septic.

"That hurts!"

"Stop being a baby, and quit moving!"

He finally finished, and pulled a bundle of gauze out of the box along with a pair of small scissors. Karkat began wrapping the bandages around your chest, pulling them tight. You winced periodically when he'd pull on the white material. Once the bandages were pinned on, he traced over the gauze where the cut was with his fingers. It sent a chill down your spine. Finally he commanded you to turn around.

"You're stupid."

"Thanks. Want to enlighten me why?"

The white haired boy furrowed his eyebrows, and looked down at his lap.

"You could have died fuckass."

There wasn't any of his normal venom behind the words, and he said them softly. Was he worried about you?

"I didn't though, unfortunately for you, huh?"

You gave a weak chuckle, hoping to lighten him up. Karkat still wasn't looking at you, and for whatever reason this vexed you. Huffing, you grabbed his chin lifted it up. Red met red as you stared into his eyes, still amazed how similar they were to yours. You slid your eyes shut, and lightly rested your forehead against his.

"Stop worrying about me. I'm fine."

"You're dangerous."

"You're the one who kicked the Mome Rath."

"I knew what I was doing!"

"And yet I'm the one who saved your ass."

Karkat grumbled, and with a shove you found yourself on the ground with a sore rear. You shot him a faux look of betrayal, and he chuckled. You joined in, laughing louder as he joined you on the floor. You had never wanted to kiss anyone more in that moment.

_**(A/N:**_

_**C: Chapter two, done! So I've already written a chapter or two ahead of this one, but if there's anything you want to see more of lemme know! And also feel free to ask questions. I might answer them. Maybe. Uh, disclaimer, I don't own Homestuck or anything by Lewis Carroll, but I'm thankful for both! Kay, I'm done AN-ing)**_


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